


We Made It

by iscoutregiment57



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: It's too sad, M/M, oh god don't read it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-07-16 06:23:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7256032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iscoutregiment57/pseuds/iscoutregiment57
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Was it really worth it to come all this way? To make it to the new world without anyone to lean on?</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Made It

**Author's Note:**

> God forgive me for being a merciless soul.  
> -Scout

The grass hummed in response to the wind that tousled it about. It flowed over each and every hill that Eren could lay his eyes upon. In spite of himself, he smiled. He smiled at the free sky touched with streaks of a buoyant white; at the sun that stretched down to wrap him up in its embrace.

In the distance, a proud pole sprung from the ground, laced with a triumphant flag that was a touch too dark to match the shade of the grass that fell beneath it. Above it, a raven and a white dove squabbled over who got to claim the pole as their own, bearing much resemblance to the insignia poured onto the green flag.

“How do we know they’re gone? All of them?” Eren recalled himself saying to Mikasa once they’d reached an ocean without a titan in sight.

Thought sketched onto her face, the glittering waves that lapped at the shore reflecting in her dark eyes, giving her the appearance of long-lost innocence. Unwrapping the scarf, _his_ scarf, she replied, “We don’t.” Thumbing the red material fondly, she gave a small smile to it. Sucking in a deep breath and closing her eyes, she’d then muttered, “We simply let the thought of it go.” In cadence with her sentence, she had let go of it, letting the wind warp it across the sea.

The smile Eren wore gave way to nostalgia as he remembered the last sentence she had said to him, “I’m going away, Eren. I’ll be back one day, but I’m going to see the world that’s rightfully mine.”

To which he replied, “Looks like you’ve been hanging around me for too long,” but he had let her go. Let his sister find her way in the great wide world.

Eren stroked the grass that had been clipped recently, slipping into crippling reality for a moment. He had hoped he would make it here without much sacrifice. Although Eren knew that it would’ve taken some lost lives to make it to this point, he never imagined that it would take lives from him. Precious souls that had given him a meaning despite all the harrowing things he found during his time of trial.

Pushing dark thoughts down into the pit of his stomach, he remembered his purpose in this place when a gust of wind rose so suddenly, it fluffed up his silky hair. He snapped his head up, glancing around to make certain that nobody else was around.

Ambling to his feet, he rocked, unsteady for a moment. He walked not too far a distance then stopped to lightly graze a gravestone gone cold with the ever-present wind. Edges crumbled away at his fond touching, and he yanked his hand back to further prevent himself from damaging the precious stone.

He kneeled down in front of the grave, placing a gift on top of it and willed the wind to not blow it away. Eren cleared his closing throat and began, “So, um, I know Armin would like the beach, so that’s where he is now, but I figured that, well, you would like something a little more personal.” He trailed off for a moment, never imagining himself in this type of situation.

“Listen,” he continued after finding some words, “I know that you…if you were here, that is, I know you would make that weird noise with your mouth and make fun of me for doing this, but just, shut up for a minute, okay?”

Feeling heat creep up onto his cheeks, Eren cleared his throat again, briefly looking out onto the plains for encouragement. “So this is beginning to feel real, mainly because I ignored the fact that you were…gone…for quite some time. I guess it’s because I expect the cold side of the bed in the morning instead of you. Maybe it’s because I always hear my own breathing instead of your shit jokes, but I don’t really know.” He tried to shrug it off nonchalantly, but was failing, feeling a painful itch begin behind his eyes.

“The point is,” he nearly shouted at the grave. “For everything that has happened; me being assigned to you, the hooking up thing, and eventually the,” He looked at the heading on the gravestone, not bothering to finish his sentence. He had contributed to the placing of his love’s last sentence. A long-awaited, proud, yet sweet sentence _, “For more than just the glory of humanity.”_

“I loved you every day you existed. For the days you existed without me, the days you existed with me, and for the forever where you cease to exist.” Eren struggled for breath, hearing the words spoken by a stranger, a cry for help. “Yes, we saw it together, but I lied. That wasn’t all I wanted. I wanted to live in this world with you, to conquer it together.

“I want to wake up every morning and find you already in the kitchen making the tea I hate so much. I want to use our 3DMG just for random trips out to the middle of nowhere where you can lay in my lap and I can hold you to me and run my fingers through your hair and, dear god! I’ll even let you call me anything you want, you can call me brat for as long as I live and I won’t say a word about it if you would just _come_ _back_.”

His voice was cracking and he knew it, but he denied the tears access down his now-pale cheeks. “Not only that, but you were my captain. What am I supposed to do without a leader? I’m just someone who carries out orders, nothing more. I need you, Levi,” he whispered, as if this tone would bring him back instead of the screaming he’d used earlier.

The wind whipped violently against Eren’s clothes, almost knocking him back into the grass that he loved so much. He loved the grass because it was the territory of freedom, but now it just marked death. Something old that didn’t belong on this earth because it had worn out its use. Eren hated this. He thought there would no longer be hell if the goddamn titans left but he was wrong. This was worse than hell.

And as words failed him, causing him to sink into the grass in shame and humiliation, the wind screamed louder than the devil himself, allowing Eren Jaeger to lose himself in tears.


End file.
